Here at Pillingers, Shutterstock is a very dear friend. It provides us with many images for this very blog, but not only that – it provides us with a kind of joy that just can’t be found anywhere else. We’ve been on the theme of weddings for a while now, so we’ve seen a lot of images of brides and grooms to be. Most of the models are the very vision of love, trust and devotion. Others are, well, they’re something! We just don’t know what, though. You be the judge.
Presenting… Brides of Shutterstock (all photo titles are seen as they are on Shutterstock):
Apt description; very fitting, very metaphorical indeed. Get it? He’s the old ‘ball and chain’, as indicated by the ball and chain around his neck. Getting married sucks for men because your freedom is taken away from you by grinning women with peculiarly strong right arms! Supporting outrageous and overplayed stereotypes – Shutterstock does it well.
Well, I know that if I had spent months and months planning a wedding and I didn’t get a bowl of spaghetti at the end of it I’d probably be very annoyed. But why doesn’t this bride have a fork and spoon? She’s going to get sauce all over her dress, which is just risky for the sake of being risky. And how is that setting “rustic”? You can’t just have a wooden table in an empty room and call that “rustic” – that’s like a uni student having a mattress on the floor of their empty bedroom and saying that it’s “minimalist”.
Angel Bride keeps it nice and simple: A poor young woman who looks like her back has been hijacked by an intern on Photoshop. Angel Bride looks as if she might be in need of some divine intervention as her ghostly post-production wings seem to be stalking her down the aisle. A metaphor of such, or simply a standard case of Shutterstock Syndrome. Her cuff/glove is an interesting sartorial choice, but then again, everything about this photo is somewhat peculiar in the first place.
Again, what? What is this meant to mean, stock photographer? “Couples’ interests: oars and wacky novelty glasses. Nothing else. That is it. We want for nothing.”
This is, as the title indicates, part of a photo series depicting a “Killer Bride”. For me, it sparks a few questions: What turned her heart so cold? Who gave her access to so many large knives? Why won’t anyone stop her? Why won’t anyone adjust her sleeves? It could be the bridal blockbuster of the summer – I hope Katherine Heigl plays her.
Another instance of I-don’t-understand-what’s-going-on-here. I guess this goes under the “Killer Bride” category, due to the gun she’s holding, but I’m thrown by the smiling face and “rock on” hands. What are you trying to tell me, “beauty young bride?” Am I in danger? Are we going to a pop-punk gig after the ceremony?
Images via Shutterstock (obviously).